From Northern California Chill to Southern California Thrill: My Hilarious Cali Adventure
Discovering California’s duality, one fishnet at a time.
May 2022 will always be etched in my heart like a sexy love note from the universe.
Picture this: I made a big ass move across the United States for the second time, aiming for the land of dreams and dramas – the Golden State.
Or as the locals immediately corrected me upon arrival, “Northern California.”
Challenge accepted!
But seriously, what the fuck? Why can’t I just say I’m in California?
“Oh trust me,” they’d purr, “the south is a completely different beast.”
As a quintessential sweet southern hot tamale who seriously misses her sweet tea, I’d nod knowingly. “I know ‘the south’ like the back of my hand.”
They’d shudder, “Good, because no one here likes them.”
The horror!
Stepping off the plane at SFO, I felt like Alice down the rabbit hole. People started eyeing me like a tropical bird.
“You look like you’re from Miami. Thank God you’re not actually from California.”
Um, excuse me? That’s a lot to unpack.
What is going on? Why doesn’t anyone here proudly claim their roots?
It was bizarre, coming from “the south” where pride flows as freely as moonshine.
Then I saw her — a beautiful blonde with an insecure vibe, no wonder, she was wearing a fishnet in 50-degree San Francisco weather.
I was freezing in jeans!
What kind of Nordic genetics does this chica have? We locked eyes, and I gave her my best southern smile.
She sauntered over and asked, “Where are you from?”
“The south!” I blurted, unable to resist.
Florida seemed too specific, and saying the F-word (Florida) outside our world?
We know the drill, we get the hate.
She squealed, “Oh, meeee too!” then added, “I’m from Beverly Hills but trying out San Francisco.”
Wait, what?
I felt like I was on “What Would You Do?” waiting for John Quiñones to pop out with his camera crew. My jaw dropped so hard a bug probably flew in.
That was the day I realized “the south” didn’t mean the same thing across the United States, especially in California.
This was my intro to how these sexy Californians think, and it’s hilariously true to the stereotypes, a joy to experience firsthand.
Still, California, with all its quirks, is my favorite place to live in the United States, second only to Hawaii.
Eventually, I decided to settle in Southern California, my new home base, over “the north.”
Moving to “the south” two months ago was the final piece that helped me understand Northern California’s vibe and why it never truly captured my heart or felt like my scene.
Isn’t it wild how a location can influence our lives and perspectives?
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